World War M

an oral history of the mouse wars

Kitty shame.
The Mouse Wars began after leaving our coach in storage at Florida facility.
Upon hauling out our sailboat we returned to the coach to find rice scattered through the coach.
A stash of rice was discovered in our coach documentation binder...mice.
Worse, we could hear them scurrying in the ceiling.
Our two cats were unable to handle the problem. We had dispatch the rodents by other any means necessary.
One day, upon entering the shower, I found a mouse perched inside the shower bubble licking the condensation on the outer bubble.
Water. Thus we found a weak flank in the mouse occupation.
We pulled down the inner bubble and screwed in place a shelf (an old political sign) and on this shelf we placed a Tin Cat Trap.
The first night the Tin Cat captured 4 of the invaders, whom we hauled to a distant location to release in the Wyoming wilderness.
Subsequent nights we caught one or two of them. Onc time while releasing two into the wild, Vicki (our white kitty) was following me and when the first mouse scurried from the trap, a white blur of fur quickly dispatched the rodent.
As the battle progressed, however, we turned less tolerant and deployed every killing trap we could find. The round, Decon spinner traps were perfect for putting in place of our coach's ceiling mounted speakers. These traps could still function when placed beneath the insulation.
Other smart, battle tested, mice came to the fore and learned how to enter the Tin Cat, eat the goodies placed within, and then escape. So we augmented the Tin Cat with Tomcat sticky traps.
Late one night after giving no quarter to the first sticky trap POW, I set the Tin Cat trap outside intending to clean it up the following day. The next morning, I created a containment workspace in the galley, and then retrieved the Tina Cat trap. Without thinking I opened the trap to re-provision it and let out a manly yelp when I was startled to find two mice inside. I sought escape into our coach before I slammed the trap closed right on his nose....holding the mouse in this gruesome position until I could get the trap to a release zone. He seemed no worse for the least until Vicki mercifully dispatched him.
After a long, hard fought battle, we finally prevailed.
The problem is that there is no way to clean any "trace materials" from within our ceiling. These trace materials act as a homing beacon for new rodent forces to arrive, and just 4 months after the end of hostilities, we had new invaders to contend with.

World War M2

an oral history of the Second Mouse War

Cold south Texas weather no doubt precipitated the resumption of the Mouse War. A war for warmth and plentiful sunflower seeds.
No doubt the homing beacon left behind by the previous combatants guided the invaders into our coach. A crafty Special Forces mouse scouted out the place and located many abundant food sources. Cat food under the galley sink. A ziplock bag of Sunflower seeds in the pantry. Another ziplock bag of tea was breached, but it appears no tea was taken. At first the scout stayed behind the galley cabinets. One evening Cartman, with a burst of unexpected energy, took off in pursuit and chased the scout mouse into the head. Unfortunately our one-eyed cat failed to take the mouse prisoner and he escaped. Shortly thereafter the mouse found his way into the safety of the ceiling.
Once again, we went on a full scale war time footing. We pulled the speakers and placed the spinner traps. We pulled down the shower inner bubble and positioned the Tin Cat. A variety of traps and bait were deployed behind drawers, beneath the sink, and deep in the pantry.
A weeklong standoff commenced. Mice can reproduce at a fearful rate, so we decided that extreme...or extremer...measures were called for.
There are few things more alarming than listening to mice scurrying about, chewing on insulation and wires. Thoughts turn to dousing the whole RV in gasoline and gleefully tossing in a roadside flare.
Our best scientist began work on the Benavides Project to develop a massive strategic advantage for dealing with current mice and future intruders.
The Mouse Drain was created.
While this fearsome weapon has been unleashed, it has not yet been battle proven. Just hours after deployment, the crafty scout mouse was taken out by a newly deployed kill trap...the Amdro kill trap which was another new wartime technology just recently placed into the area of operation. This trap, which uses an "elastrator" band, managed to execute the crafty scout mouse....but was he alone? Did he have a spotter?
For the moment our coach appears to be secured from the mouse menace. Hopefully we will not face any more border incursions, but the unobtrusive mouse drain will remain in place as a deterrent. The other traps will be withdrawn from the contested ceiling in hopes that the peace treaty endures.
It remains to be seen if the Trap of Mouse Destruction proves a strategic advantage. Stay tuned for future SITREPs.
Post conflict decontamination.
Every drawer, cabinet, every nook and cranny. All of the dishes and utensils.